„Well, guys, you finished your album and now you need to have a world tour”,- Charles was starting
the usual band meeting.
“How bout
wes does it in this Norths Pole?”- suggested Swisgaar.
“Oh, I luvs
the Norths Pole! Santa lives there!”- Toki said enthusiastically.
“There’s no
such thing as Santa”- said Murderface with his arms crossed on his chest.
“What do
you means there aren’t suchs thing as Santa?” – Toki seemed lost, - “Then who
eats the cookies at Christmases eveningses?”
“We do”-
said Swisgaar still practicing his riffs.
“Yeah,
they’re very tasty”- added Murderface.
“Yeah,
Toki, we thought you knew. We just thought you accidentally left cookies
around” – said Pickles.
“I can’ts
believe yous!”- started shouting Toki.
“Hey, guys,
QUIET.”- said Nathan with his deep voice. He didn’t scream, just used enough of
volume for everybody to shut up and look at him.- “Uh…I, uh, have an
idea.”
He was
silent for a moment.
“Well what
is it?” – asked Murderface.
“I was just
getting to it! – Nathan shouted.- “Ok, ok. I wanted to do a dramatic pause. Ok,
ok. So yeah. I thought since the album is about the apocalyptic future world, why
don’t we freeze ourselves and play a concert in the future?.”
“Because,
well…” – Swisgaar started speaking,- “hm…Maybes that’s not suchs a bads
ideas.”
“Um, guys,”
– Charles interrupted,- “you can’t have a concert in the future because your
fans are waiting for a concert now.”
“But that
would be so BRUTAL.” – Nathan said.
“Yeah, and
besides, maybe in the future they have time machines and then we can come back
for a concert here as well.”- Murderface defended the idea as well.
“Well
that’s a very small probability and I can’t allow it” – said Charles.
“Argh, you
never allows us anythiiiing” – whined Toki.
“Yeah,
you’res such a robots” – added Swisgaar.
“Yeah, why
is it always has to be according your rules?” – asked Pickles.
“No
feelings about us at all.” – stated Murderface.
“Hey,
you’re not our MOM.” – Nathan said.
“No, but I
am your manager.” – said Charles.
Everybody
fell silent.
“We’re
still doing it.” – said Nathan.
THE NEXT
DAY
The whole
band was standing in front of six capsules that supposedly should freeze them.
Behind them were standing their faithful Klokateers. One of them was holding
Charles who appeared to be heavily sedated.
Nathan
turned to one of the Klokateers.
“Ok, ok. So
listen. We go in. You put us for a thousand years. And you make sure nobody
comes near this place. For at least hundred years. Yeah, hundred years should
be fine. Got it?” – the Klokateers nodded.- “Good. Good. Is Nathan still
sedated?”
Pickles
poked Charles. He slightly moved his arm in weak protest.
“Dood, he’s
not really moovin’ yet.”
“Good, he
won’t be squirming around that.”- said Murderface.
“Ok, enough
fooling around, let’s do this”- said Pickles and jumped into his capsule.
All the
band members followed (Charles was carefully placed in it as he couldn’t do it
himself) and Klokateers approached them to close the capsules. After closing it
they turned the switches for a thousand years and pressed the buttons to start
freezing.
“This will
be so BRU…”- Nathan started to say in his capsule but couldn’t finish as he
froze.
AFTER A
THOUSAND YEARS
“TAL.” –
Nathan finished shouting as the machine defrozed him.
All of the
capsule doors opened. The band members looked kind of weary and weak. Well what
do you expect after a thousand years of not moving. Charles fell down to the
floor. He was moaning. Pickles slowly moved towards the window.
“Wow,
doods, look at this! Where do you suppose we are?” – he asked.
“Welcome!
To the future!” – said a person with a lab coat just entering through the
doors.
“Jeez, stop
saying that. You’ll scare the people” – said another scientist who was
following him.
“Who are
you guys?” – asked Swisgaar.
“We are the
scientists working at the defrozing centre” – said one of them.
“We’re in a
defrozing centre?” – asked Murderface.
“Yeah, you
we’re moved here a few hundred years ago, when your capsules were
discovered.”
“Excuse
me,”- said Charles from the ground, trying to stand up,- “where and when
exactly is here?
“It’s New
New York and the year is 3013.” – said the scientist who welcomed them.
“New New
York? What happened to just New York?” – asked Pickles.
“New New
York was built on its ruins.”
“What
happened to it? Alien invasion?” – Nathan joked.
“Yes.” –
calmly answered one of the scientists.”But that is not your worry right now, as
we need to make some test and then you can go.”
The band
and the manager followed the scientists into the following rooms where they
were examined (probed and zoned and whatsoever).
“Wow, I
haven’ts hads something like this froms the times I was withs that
sadomasochistic grannie” – said Swisgaar rubbing his butt.
“Yeah, I
know, that was kind of brutal” – Nathan agreed.
“They
touched me places” – whispered Toki.
“Was that
really necessary?” – asked Charles.- “See? I told you from the start this was a
bad idea.”
“Shh, we
haven’t even seen the city yet” – Murderface shushed him.
“Ok, so
it’s time to get your career chips.” – said one of the scientists.
“Our what?”
– asked Pickles.
“Career
chips. They will determine what job you will do here.”
“We don’t
need that. We’re Dethklok and we play music and he’s our manager” – said Nathan
pointing at Charles.
“Well, we’ll
see what the career chip will say. Please give me your hand.”
“Why?” –
Nathan asked.
“So I can
insert the chip.”
“Heys,
which hands it wills be? Cause it can’ts be my playings hand” – Swisgaar got
defensive.
“Hey, yeah,
what about that I play with two hands? What about that?” – asked Pickles.
“It will
not hurt and there will be almost no mark. Please give me your hand.”
“Ok, but
then let’s start with Charles.” – said Murderface and pushed the manager
forward.
Charles
gave a mean look towards Murderface and fixed his tie. He then gave his right
hand to the scientist. The scientist took out a little gun and fired a
microchip into his hand. Charles didn’t even wince. The scientist then took out
a scanner and scanned the microchip. It read Manager.
“Ok, so
you’re the manager, who’s next?” – asked the scientist.
“Toki, you
go” – Swisgaar pushed him.
Toki looked
scared, he rubbed his palm for a second and then gave to the scientist. He
fired the microchip.
“Ouch!”
“Hey, if
that hurts, I ain’t doing it.” – said Swisgaar.
“Well, you
guys wanted to go to the future, now have the consequences.” – said Charles
calmly. Swisgaar gave him a mean look.
The
scientist scanned Toki’s palm. Rhythm
guitar.
“Ok, I’m next”
– said Pickles and handed the hand. Beep. Drummer.
“Fine,
let’s do this.” – said Swisgaar. Lead
guitar.
Murderfaced
just gave his hand without saying anything. Bassist.
“Well,
Nathan, you’re left.” – said Charles.
“Guys,” –
he said with his head down, “what if I’m not gonna be approved as vocal? I… I
don’t know what I’ll do.”
“Aw, dood,
stop being such baby and give man the hand”. – said Pickles. Nathan did as
told.
Waiter. Nathan’s heart dropped.
“NOOOOO!!!”
– he screamed throwing his arms in the air.
“Wait,
sometimes they get stuck. Let me scan again.” – said the scientist.
Beep! Vocalist.
“I knew it.
I was actually not worried at all” – said Nathan. – “What? Stop looking at me,
it was just acting.”
“Ok, so now
you can go out and explore the future world” – said the scientist.
“So what
are we gonna do now?” – asked Nathan when the door closed after them and they
were standing in front of a buzzing street.
“Hey,
what’s that sound?” – asked Pickles. The band started listening around.
“I thinks
it comes from that phone box” – said Toki pointing at the little box a bit down
the street.
The band
came closer to it.
“Hey, why
does it say Suicide booth?” – asked
Murderface. At that minute somebody inside screamed.
“I guess,
Murderface, because people go in there to kill themselves.” – said
Charles.
“That’s so
brutal.” – whispered Nathan looking at the booth.
“Ok, so
what are we going to do now guys? I doubt you have fans here.” – said
Charles.
“What do
yous means wes don’ts have fans here?” – asked Toki in disbelief.
“Well, it’s
been a thousand years since your last album.” – said Charles.
“So? Good
music doesn’ts gets old! What about that Beethovens guy?” – Toki didn’t give
up.
“Ok, I
think first we need some place to stay and then we can sort things out after I
do a little research.” – said Charles.
“But wait,
do we have money here?” – asked Murderface.
“What do
you mean we don’t have money?” – asked Nathan.
“Well, it
is the future.” – said Murderface.
“Good
point, let’s go to the bank.” – suggested Charles.
They all
went to the nearest bank where they spoke about their accounts.
“Ah yes,
there is a special account for you. It was created in 2013 July specifically
for you. The account is anonymous, but there’s more than enough money
here.”
“Ok, great,
can I have some of them transferred to this credit card?” – asked Charles
handing his credit card.
“Of course”
– said the bank worker.
After that
was taken care of the band went to the nearest hotel and booked a VIP room.
“Ok, guys,
I’m going to do some research now, and I guess you will want a night out, so I
want to say to you some warnings” – started Charles.
“Argh, here
he goes agains with his warnings” – said Swisgaar.
“You know
we’re not babies.” – said Pickles.
“Yes, but
this is a different time, so I just want you to be careful. There won’t be any
Klokateers to help you here. Oh and it might be that a lot of people won’t know
who you are, so be careful.”
“Yeah,
yeah, whatever, I need a beer.” – said Nathan.- “Who’s coming to find a bar?” –
all of the band followed him leaving Charles alone.
They walked
into a shabby place downtown and ordered beers.
“I’m going
to the bathroom” – said Nathan and twisted from his stool chair to stand up. As
he did so, he felt as he bumped into something.
“Oy, watch
we’re you’re going you meatbag!” – said a voice behind him. When he turned
around he saw a grey robot looking at him.
“It’s a
robot!” – said Toki.
“Well, what
else I would be? A unicorn? Hehehehe” – the robot started laughing.
“No, it’s
thats I never seens a robots” – said Toki.
“Seriously?”,-
the robot seemed shocked.- “Where have you been? The 21st
century?”
The guys
looked at each other.
“Um, yeah.”
– said Pickles.
“Hehehe” –
laughed the robot,- “So what are you planning to do today?”
“Ah, just
drinking some booze and then later probably more booze” – said Pickles.
“Sounds
like my kind of thing. Let me join you.” – he ordered a beer and sat next to
them,- “the name’s Bender. I’m a bending robot.”
“And are
there mores robots in the future?” – Toki asked with eyes wide with
interest.
“Sure,
there’s plenty of them.”
“And do
they all drink like ye?” – asked Pickles.
“Sure, it’s
illegal to be sober for robots”,- answered Bender.
“Dood, I
think you’re going to fit just right in.” – said Pickles.
“Hey,
listen Bender,” – asked Nathan when he returned from the bathroom,- “do you
know anything about a band called Dethklok?”
“Dethklok? Nope, doesn’t ring a
bell.”
“You means
we’re not populars here?” – asked Swisgaar.
“Are you
guys in a band?” – asked Bender.
“Yeah, we
play death metal.” – answered Nathan.
“Neat. Hey,
maybe my roommate knows you, he’s from the 20th century.”
“Well,
let’s go see him.” – said Pickles.
They went
to Bender’s apartment. The door was answered by a redheaded guy.
“Sup,
Bender. Who are they?” – he asked smiling.
“Well, I
guess he doesn’t know you.” – said Bender to the band.”Fry, this is Dethklok, Dethklok, this is Fry.”
“Nice to
meet you, are you all called Dethkloks?” – he asked.
“Boys, is
this guy an idiots?” – Swisgaar whispered to Toki.
“Nah, they
got names. Which I don’t know exactly. Hey, what are your names?” – asked
Bender. The guys introduced themselves.
“Well, I
was never really much into music” – answered Fry. “Or maybe you became popular
after I got frozen.”
“When were
you frozen?” – asked Murderface.
“From 2000
to 3000.”
“Yeah, that
explains it, we became popular in 2006” – said Pickles.
“So what
are you guys doing here? Are you attending the Rock Festival?” – asked
Fry.
“There’s a
Rock Festival?” – asked Nathan.
“Yeah,
tomorrow in the outskirts of New New York.”
“We have to
tell Charles about it.” – said Murderface.
“I’m on it”
– said Nathan when he got out his dethphone. – “Hey, I don’t get a signal
here!”
“Maybe it’s
because your phone from the past.” – said Bender. – “Here, use mine.”
“Thanks.
Hey, do you know the number of our hotel?”
“No.” –
answered Murderface,- “I guess we’ll have to go to Charles ourselves.”
“Ah,
man.”
They all
went out to the hotel. They told Charles about the concert and he busied
himself on getting Dethklok a place to play there and instruments to play with.
They agreed to be tomorrow at 3pm ready in hotel to go together to the place
for soundcheck. The band left to celebrate.
“Hey, we
still need one thing.” – said Nathan.
“What’s
that?” – asked Fry.
“A time
machine to come back to our time.”
“Well,
that’s going to be a hard one, but I guess we can ask Professor.” – Bender
said.
They turned
to walk towards Planet Express headquarters where apparently professor
Farnsworth was living and doing his inventions.
“Yo,
professor, we need a time machine.” – said Bender while entering.
“A whaaa?”
– professor asked cluelessly.
“A time
machine you know, so that these folks can travel in time.” – said Bender.
“And where
would you like to travel, gentlemen?” – professor asked fixing his
glasses.
“To 2013.”
– said Nathan.
“Ah, to the
past. Well, that should be easy. Of course it might be very
dangerous…MWAHAHAHAHA” – professor started laughing.
“Is that
guy gots the crazies or sumfing?” – asked Toki scared.
“Yeah, that
guy has got more crazies than any of us. Hehehe.” – said Bender. – “But he’s
the only one who can help you.”
“Hey,
professor, we need it by the day after tomorrow.” – said Nathan.
“Well,
that’s soon. But I guess I can manage.” – said professor and started laughing
again as he left the room.
“Are you
sure he’s going to help us?” – asked Nathan.
“Yeah,
professor might be crazy, but he’s the best at inventing stuff.” – said
Fry.
“Ok, well
then, let’s go back to drinking.” – said Pickles.
And they
did. The next morning they had hangovers, but by the time of souncheck they
were ok.
“Hey,
Charles, we got this guy who’s gonna build us a time machine” – said
Nathan.
“Who is
he?”
“Just this
scientist we met yesterday while partying.”
“And are
you sure you can trust him?”
“Don’t
worry, like I said we travel here, and we go back with a time machine.” – said
Murderface.
“Ok,
Dethklok! You’re up” – yelled the souncheck guy.
In the
evening they were getting anxious to perform. Before performing Charles made a
deal for the concert to be recorder so that it could be sold, of course without
disclosing which year and what city it was. Finally, there came a moment when
they gathered on stage with their instruments. Nathan took the microphone.
“Ok, listen
up. We traveled here from 21st century to play you our new album
about our image of the future. So take a look!”
The
instruments started playing and Nathan started singing. His voice was powerful
and he soon took over the hearts and minds of the listeners. He was creating a
new army of fans. Later the live DVD and CD that came out became the most
popular records of all time. Not only in the 21st century, but also
in the 31st.
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